she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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