BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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