you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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