just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize