I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
