Whod you bang
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I will pee on everything he values.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Randomize
