Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
