He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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