i just wanna soil my oats bro
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
