Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My cat gives me a boner
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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