I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
