I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
