butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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