so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
