party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I need moral support for this bender
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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