He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
