I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
