just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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