And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
