Don't you send me to vm
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
