Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
