So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
