I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
