I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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