Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
