Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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