If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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