I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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