This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
