I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
