Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
