Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I FOUND THE LEGS
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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