omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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