I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
