Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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