it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
whose ass print is on the piano?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
