ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
