doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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