Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
