the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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