I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
