That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
