GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize