things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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