trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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