we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
