Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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