Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.