If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Your cock deserves a montage
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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