6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
MIDGETS
????
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
