He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
