he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Even my vagina gasped.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
