I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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