I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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