Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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