i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
