Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
