with your own penis?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
