the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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