fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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