We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
