just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize