So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
