sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
