I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
